Our resident Scrooge Kya Quinn is here to put a damper on your holiday season with her guide on How to Kill Santa Claus!
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Thanks to Marisa Kirisame for the Tim Allen DOOM mod!
When it comes to Christmas time, the only thing more important than friends and family are presents underneath your tree, courtesy of the fat man himself: Santa Claus. But Santa Claus isn’t always so jolly. There have been plenty of scary, gory, creepy Christmas horror movies, most of which star a completely psycho Santa Claus. When it comes to a killer Santa Claus, there’s a ton of holiday horror to choose from. Like Christmas Evil, a 1980 film that was one of the first christmas movies to feature a creepy Santa Claus. But as far as the concept of an evil Santa Claus goes, most audiences were introduced to it with the film Silent Night, Deadly Night. Not to be confused with its sequel, which is more of a celebration of Garbage Day than Christmas, Silent Night Deadly Night was a controversial cult hit that somehow spawned four sequels and a Silent Night 2012 reboot. The creepy Santa concept is ripe for exploitation, but if you really want to up the kill count, you shouldn’t accept these powerless little helpers.
If you’re looking for the real evil Santa Claus, look no further than Santa’s Slay. Starring the iconic pro wrestler Bill Goldberg, Santa’s Slay isn’t just about a creepy Santa Claus or a Scary Santa Claus, it’s also a straight up Christmas comedy, with over-the-top gore and a bloody body count to match. It’s one of our favorite Christmas movies, and one of our favorite horror movies, too. Just like the extremely weird movie from Finland called Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale. This Finnish movie about an ancient, monstrous Santa Claus and his army of naked, feral elves strike terror into the hearts of Finns everywhere. Finally on our list, the most horrifying Christmas movie of all, starring Tim Allen: The Santa Clause. The Santa Clause is the stuff of nightmares, with Kris Kringle falling to his horrific death off of a roof, after which Tim Allen steals his entire identity and leaves him to rot in Santa hell. It’s too disturbing to recount here, which is why you should just watch our video on How to Kill Santa Claus!
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